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City Manhole Covers Experiencing Existential Crises

“I don’t recognize myself anymore.” With the nation’s continued mandate to stay at home, street traffic has ground to nearly a standstill.

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All across the region, steaming manholes are experience their second week without any affect on moving vehicles and bicyclists. With the nation’s continued mandate to stay at home, street traffic has ground to nearly a standstill.

“My last accident was over 3 weeks ago,” said manhole cover 876-13b-East-Jordon. “It was a three car combo, but still nowhere as good as back in the 90s where we could count on a full on death every other month. You know, before self braking cars.” “Now all we get are rear-Enders,” he lamented.

Crisis centers are being set up to handle inbound counseling calls.

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