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Celebrity Couple Seeking to Mend Differences While on Covid-19 Break

“It’s necessary to take time, as a couple, to look into your differences and try to find common ground,” muttered Fauci, to nobody in particular.

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5 years ago

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Tony Fauci first met Donald Trump in 2016 at a work holiday party. The two hit it off when both realized Tony used to date the previous CEO.

“We hit it off right away. I could tell he likes dating powerful men. And there’s nobody more powerful than me. Everyone is talking about it. That we hit it off.” said Don. “That’s what they’re saying. Everyone is saying it.”

“I’m hoping to focus on our mental health during this break,” said Tony. “If I can just get him to sit still long enough to watch season 3 of Ozark, I might be able to trick him into paying attention to me for a few minutes.”

At publication, Mr. Fauci had changed his twitter handle to @isaiah136 and has not returned requests for further comment.

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