Special Report
National Hypocrisy Containment Systems Nearing Dangerous Levels
People began posting pictures of themselves wearing masks outdoors.
A worker desperately works the gauges at the Cleveland facility Wednesday morning.
Scientists sounded the alarm over the dangerous situation during a press conference at the National Organization for Hypocritical Containment, or NOHAC. Hypocrisy compressors will begin to break down and leak lethal hypocrisy into the atmosphere within the next few days.
The situation changed drastically as people who formerly didn’t have masks began wearing them.
Facebook users are clearly the worst.
Clearly didn’t have mask before this photo.
What’s clear is that the spike in hypocrisy was driven by Facebook, Twitter and Instagram users as they began posting pictures of themselves wearing masks outdoors.
At press, global hypocrisy levels are also increasing sharply. “We’re coordinating efforts with GLOHAG, the world-wide containment organization based in Switzerland.”
Covid-19
Couple From Tau Ceti Star System Taking A Second Look At Home On Earth
Couple looking for new adventures had previously passed on the Solar System altogether.
Just two years ago it was a hard pass.
TUESDAY JUNE 19, 5:39 PM – EARTH’S MOON
Speaking with AOH reporters from an abandoned model-planet site-viewing platform on the Earth-side of the moon, Juxthorpe and Nancy Kylomor-Nuchttadbetter looked on at the planet as the sun began to set. “It’s not what we saw in EY (Earth Year) 2017,” said Nancy. “I can’t describe it, but it used to appear sick. Like it had an infection.”
Nancy and Juxthorpe are planning to have a family within the next 138 EY years. They’ve been looking to “expand our horizons.” With her pregnancy in just its 63rd trimester, all 196,890,231 of her sack eggs are healthy.
And with 30 year fixed ARM mortages at just 2.9%, it’s a sweeter deal for the Kylomor-Nuchttadbetter family.
Special Report
Calligraphy Videos On YouTube Hastening Viewer’s Descents Into Madness
With just 9 videos, viewers are guaranteed to never recover from shelter-in-place to lead a normal life.
Alien Civilization Sues Mark Zuckerberg For Copyright on Threads Logo
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