Special Report

Miracle: Planet In The Milky Way Galaxy Wakes Up After Nearly 300 Years In A Coma

Doctors are baffled at mysterious virus that ravaged her lungs. She is doing much better.

Photo: Pexels

Published

5 years ago

April 13, 2020

allofhumanity

Doctors check in on Gaia

Gaia opened her eyes after an astonishing 297 year coma. She’s a middle-aged planet in the Orion arm of our galaxy, and on Monday astonished doctors and caregivers in her solar system when she opened her eyes and smiled. Surrounded by family, Gaia is eating her first bites of food and adjusting to her new reality. She is in good spirits, and her team is working to get her up and walking again.

Doctors are baffled at mysterious virus that ravaged her lungs

Originally induced into a coma by doctors because of an uncontrollable lung infection, G, as her brother Mars calls her, couldn’t be woken up after doctors tried to revive her.

“The infection spread so quickly… it was scary.”

Doctors are optimistic for Gaia’s full recovery, but are baffled. For no reason her lungs have cleared and she’s on the mend.

“It’s a true miracle,” said a tearful Mars. “Her birthday is in just a few days, and we’re finally going to get to celebrate with her.”

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Special Report

Alien Civilization Sues Mark Zuckerberg For Copyright on Threads Logo

Published

2 years ago

July 8, 2023

allofhumanity

A spokesperson for the Proxima Centuri Federation of Planets said the lawsuit was filed in US District Court last Friday.

Jowl Ra Heth, spokesperson for the government of the Proxima Centuri Federation of Planets, responded to media requests via fax. “We are saddened and shocked that our former ambassador to the Sol star system has decided to use a graphic pattern, one we used in a message to earth 25 years ago, to start a new money-making venture. While the establishment of yet another social media platform in order to lull the human race into a state of codependency is in alignment with our goals of ultimate domination, the wholesale theft of our intellectual property is really a new low for Mr. Zuckerberg.” The “threaded a” was originally used in a galactic communication in a wheat field in Le Chalet-à-Gobet, Switzerland in 1998.

Covid-19

Couple From Tau Ceti Star System Taking A Second Look At Home On Earth

Couple looking for new adventures had previously passed on the Solar System altogether.

Published

5 years ago

May 19, 2020

allofhumanity

Just two years ago it was a hard pass.

TUESDAY JUNE 19, 5:39 PM – EARTH’S MOON

Speaking with AOH reporters from an abandoned model-planet site-viewing platform on the Earth-side of the moon, Juxthorpe and Nancy Kylomor-Nuchttadbetter looked on at the planet as the sun began to set. “It’s not what we saw in EY (Earth Year) 2017,” said Nancy. “I can’t describe it, but it used to appear sick. Like it had an infection.”

Nancy and Juxthorpe are planning to have a family within the next 138 EY years. They’ve been looking to “expand our horizons.” With her pregnancy in just its 63rd trimester, all 196,890,231 of her sack eggs are healthy.

And with 30 year fixed ARM mortages at just 2.9%, it’s a sweeter deal for the Kylomor-Nuchttadbetter family.